my xmas eve

i wished last year that i must find a office job that allows me not to work on public holidays. i also wished that there will be a special someone whom can accompany me for this special day.

both came true indeed. i feel very happy and excited in the early part of the day but things do not go well in the later evening. he doesnt like packed places. he suggested to watch movie at tampines. perhaps he is ok with going to tampines compared to orchard. in the end... i felt kinda upset. i have this feeling we are drifting apart. though he apologised, he added on that i must tell him if i cant take it. meaning if i cant take it, means thats it? it hurts. :'( i can feel my eyes full of tears... i am just contented to be out with him but i do not feel him as close to me as before. why is this happening?

sometimes the way he speaks and behaves compared to before, felt he has changed. or is this the real him? there were several occasions that i was browsing at things in a store, he can be my side and suddenly disappeared. when i was asking him for opinions, i only realised that he walked away when i turned around. to me, i will accompany my bf to shop things even though i know nuts about it and comment when he asks for opinions. that's experiencing things together and companionship. his perspective is different in this case. we have come so far but seems like we do not understand each other that well...

its xmas... merry xmas everyone.