just can't help missing him...
the feeling of missing a person is back again. damn. donno how is he, does he think of me like what I am now? sad to say missing two persons now, both attached and can't give up their gfs for me. i never force them to make a choice before but just that its their gfs' fortune to have them. yah, i am the unfortunate one ever.
the one i am still in contact with, is rather bothered about work. poor thing. have the urge of even leaving my 'well paid' job to help him but i can't with the school fees commitment. went to his office recently, seen a pic of his gf at his desk. felt rather jealous and upset. he didn't realise. just felt like drinkin and drop dead by the time i see my bed. i have nothing to say. why do i have to be in such a position of having his love and care when he is not fully mine? does he really mean it when he says he misses me? coming over to find me and the surprises he has given me, really meant to me; he is not only misses me by words but actions tell so. i can't help it when i see him, i just hope he is in good shape, not getting any thinner. just hope for him that the tide will be over soon and see him happy. the only thing i hope for him - happiness. i will always support him mentally. :)
as for the other, i really do not know how to sort out my thoughts on him. i have only sadness in my heart. he is the guy who i felt that gave me a feeling he wants me to be safe and cheerful. perhaps due to what has happened, he blocked me from his msn and avoiding me for sure. im almost online everyday and any time. how can i miss him online? if that is the way, he will not feel guilty towards his gf so be it. i accept the fact but must we end up like this? he forgot everything that has happened.. everything.. how can a person be so heartless? this is the way he treated his last gf and i am the second. he told me he try not to meet her or talk to her because he feels he let her down. guess should be the same towards me then. yah, i just let him go back to his gf whom he broke up with 'cause of me. i didn't put him into any dilemma. if he is happier with her, then i am happy for him.
if there's such a thing as a 'raining cloud' above me, please stop raining. i have had enough. i have been waiting for a rainbow to appear after rain but it does not seem to stop. i hope there is someone whom will stretch out his hand for me with an umbrella to shelter me from the rain. ZzzzZzzz
the one i am still in contact with, is rather bothered about work. poor thing. have the urge of even leaving my 'well paid' job to help him but i can't with the school fees commitment. went to his office recently, seen a pic of his gf at his desk. felt rather jealous and upset. he didn't realise. just felt like drinkin and drop dead by the time i see my bed. i have nothing to say. why do i have to be in such a position of having his love and care when he is not fully mine? does he really mean it when he says he misses me? coming over to find me and the surprises he has given me, really meant to me; he is not only misses me by words but actions tell so. i can't help it when i see him, i just hope he is in good shape, not getting any thinner. just hope for him that the tide will be over soon and see him happy. the only thing i hope for him - happiness. i will always support him mentally. :)
as for the other, i really do not know how to sort out my thoughts on him. i have only sadness in my heart. he is the guy who i felt that gave me a feeling he wants me to be safe and cheerful. perhaps due to what has happened, he blocked me from his msn and avoiding me for sure. im almost online everyday and any time. how can i miss him online? if that is the way, he will not feel guilty towards his gf so be it. i accept the fact but must we end up like this? he forgot everything that has happened.. everything.. how can a person be so heartless? this is the way he treated his last gf and i am the second. he told me he try not to meet her or talk to her because he feels he let her down. guess should be the same towards me then. yah, i just let him go back to his gf whom he broke up with 'cause of me. i didn't put him into any dilemma. if he is happier with her, then i am happy for him.
if there's such a thing as a 'raining cloud' above me, please stop raining. i have had enough. i have been waiting for a rainbow to appear after rain but it does not seem to stop. i hope there is someone whom will stretch out his hand for me with an umbrella to shelter me from the rain. ZzzzZzzz
posted by starrynite @ 2:20 AM
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