random tots..

was pondering when i was showering earlier on...

i have always tot that being a gd gf is to take care not only ur bf but also his parents and siblings as well... i loved cooking for him when i feel that fast food and his maid's cooking sucks. when we are at mac drive-in, i will check w his siblings / nephews / parents to ensure they have eaten.. waking up and seeing him by my side is always a blessing for the day.. i guess these are not what he expects from me. i have not fulfilled what he expects from a gf, in a way i have failed.

being together is a blessing.. however to him, it seems like a torture. he seems relieved and happier nw from the comments ive read in fb. i tot he would be as upset as me but seems otherwise. i have never expected our r/s could be so brittle and ended up in such a manner. he has been bottling his unhappiness with me and not discussing me directly. In the end, he burst. in my shoes, i felt that it is unfair. things can be improved when discussed. it is the same like managing a business.

managing a business, needs time and patience. there will definitely be hipcups along the way but when all shareholders come together for meeting to discuss and propose alternative ways to resolve any glitches, it would be perfect and of course, business will prosper and advance to higher heights.

looking back, im sorry to all the unhappiness that he may have gotten from me but i feel there could be a better way to handle and salvage this r/s...

pixelated life indeed

as the subject states reflects my life now... my work, love life and career... all are in boxes i.e pixelated... i have always tot my life is complete till i get a better job.. better pay.. now my life is worse than before, no lovelife, no better job, only demoralisation and depression. everyday i woke up finding myself alone and pulling myself to work... i can't slp well. kept waking up in the middle of the night.. donno for watever reason. i can only say.. i still miss him.. :'''(

lost..

ive lost someone who is very impt in my life... yes. it has been more than 1 wk and seems like things not moving the way i hope to be.. the longer it is, the lesser confidence i have... i believe we do love each other but seems something is restricting him from moving forward. i have always thought that to love and being loved is happiness. in this case, it may not seems to be.

i am in a situation whereby i do not know what i can do and should do. i can walk somewhere and do not know where i am heading... looking through our pics are memories which we shared and loved. i can feel his love is true towards me but somehow, my confidence lowers as time goes by...

god, pls help me..