pondering...

felt weird at times. thinking whether i should be in this line though it is too early to tell but it is really tough. after the meeting this evening, my batchmates and I went for a drink and catch up. they are really good man. know what to do and what is happening in the market. i am always feeling tired, reaching home late everyday due to meeting and seminars. :(

chatted with ekachai last night till around 3am, he is going over to sydney to study soon. gd life. did not have to worry about money etc. i just want to earn as much as I can and provide for my mum so she do not have to work anymore. (seeing her aching all over the body and can't help much. felt so useless)

chatted with sean as well. we guys gonna watch world cup this June. haha. sounds fun. will be catching movies tommorrow. marc and jovic asked me. hmm.. i really like watching movies but who should I go with? shall see how it goes.

need to sleep early. cant be late again for work. boss gonna kill me. haha. ZzzzzZ

haha..

sorry u are definitely wrong and i am very sure that u do not know me personally. go and ahead and comment whatever you like, u really can make me laugh. only people who think the same way as you do, have not gone through what i had or should i put in a simpler way, stereotyped thinking. haha.

bel its fine. the person does not know me at all. haha.

hmmm...

thanks for your comment, sel. to tell you the truth, i do not have any guys whom i have the intention to get married with till date. if i do think that way, i guess there would quite a no. of guys I would wanna marry. haha. by passing off the statement, pls do justify it. unless you are one of them, then im sorry that you have that impression and made such a decision. guys do not know what they want and face the fact to end off a relationship, by just passing off a universal word 'donno' and expect the gers to accept. it is also kinda sad that guys get stunned off when gers wanna settle down but seems like its not the case these days. its tough for gers to settle down. :)

attended a formal seminar, it was an eye opener but i was super tired after whole day at work. though, i am not certified to sell those products but i appreciated the fact that my BM did ask me to attend it. :) She is really one nice boss. Now, running for my numbers. fast and prepared for the month of May. No honeymoon period. (don worry, will still have time for friends)

im totally maxed out. got to rest... ZzzzZ

funds,documentations, batching, referrals ... not enough time.

so many things to do.. need to look into some serious time management man. feel so tired everyday.. went for training and walked ard with phyllis, felt better somehow.. need a life. haha.

donno why. felt better after the conversation with him. he gave me a feeling of assurance that everything will be fine. i know im not his type of gal, however, just need someone who knows what i am going through and basically, a feeling of comfort. there are so many people ard me, asking me to slow down etc but the feeling is just different, perhaps he is like a ray of sunlight giving others a sense of positiveness. he reminds me of someone who complains that he cannot be always 'injecting' positivity in me when i am always thinking negative. hmmm.. nah.. different persons. though, have not known him for long but i can be sure he is a nice guy, bf and hubby! haha.

precious moments in my life...

1) he caught me by surprise when he puts a ring on my finger
2) he hugged me when i said it was cold @genting
3) he called me to tell me its time to knock off when he was just outside
4) he still keep the things i gave him after so many years
5) he wore the tie i gave him on his first day @work
6) his signature song 'heaven knows'
7) he sang songs with guitar and sent to me via msn
8) he surprised me by waiting for me @airport on his bd for my flight back from guangzhou (felt kinda upset that i couldnt acc him on his bd)
9) the second time we are back together, feels like we have never parted
10) everytime i am in his arms and hugged me tightly.
11) a guy who msg me everyday, felt he is a sensitive and sincere guy. though, didnt ended off well but appreciated the happy times he gave me
12) a guy gave me a sense of belonging and told me not to think of anything whenever im with him
13) a guy who is always there when i needed someone to lean on but he is no longer there

a happening nite!!

today, met up with marc for dinner, wasnt a great experience but ended fine. a big surprise was a sms from james. haha. he complimented that i have changed alot. haha. perhaps i do look better in my office wear. had fun last nite thou the taxi driver pissed me quite a bit but overall was a great night.

went for my area meeting, im so proud of my senior, she won the most prestigious award despite of the intensive competition within the branches. haha. my mgr wants me to win that next month. of cos man! i do not care anymore how everyone of them present to customers etc. i believe everyone has their own style. self motivation. felt better after meeting alex, paul, jeff n angela. i am not the only one who is lost at work at times when there is noone to guide u.

I will be meeting one of james' frd for dinner later, he is the F&B director of the country club i went last night. he better bring me to a nice place for dinner man. as his designation implies, he should be good in that. haha. they are overall nice guys. :)

feeling sick and drained...

i feel so drained out and sick. hw am i able to push myself. don feel gd. upset.

burnt a small hole in my pocket

supposed to meet angelin just for dinner. in the end, i went shopping around, looking for clothes to wear for work. bought a skirt, a blouse(S$19 when orginal pice is S$59) and a suit for S$119. good but cheap buy, must buy! haha. im aiming to buy a few more COLOURS for my job. boring when i wear black and dull colours for work.

going ZzzzzZZZ...very tired.

My first deal!

Yeh! I have closed my first deal! aspire to have comms rolling in next mth. though the target seems kinda high, i believe when i get the hang of it should be fine. i am so happy for my training mates, all broke their 'eggs'!! as in ZERO sales. haha. thats the thing. however, there are still some docs which i do not know how to go about, still need my seniors' help.

last night went down to one of the pubs down mhd sultan, used to be one of the hottest night spot a few years ago. not now. should be said as fortunate as pubs' shell life is shortlived. the music is terrible. the guys there are WORST. there is this guy whom came up with a 'BRILLANT' pick up line 'hey, CAN i know your name?' gimme a break. i told him nicely, i do not have a name. he asked me WHY? erm.... what do u think then? of cos,im not the least interested to talk and know you. his saliva was spatting all over my arms and thighs(i was wearing a skirt then). hence, he backed off and came back again to talk to my friend. i do not know what my friend told him and he told us off. PLS! if you can't do it then do not blame it on others for ur incapability.

now, i am 'hibernating' at home. nice.. maybe heading for a singing session later! yeh!

life can be so vulnerable

just received a piece of bad news that one of my friend passed away due to bike accident on the day before. he was going out with his friends. i knew him as 'stoneman'. do not know why is it so but i remembered his as a nice man. fion, if u are reading this, yah he is the one we knew back in our sec skl days. he always ride bike with due care, when i asked my friend how did it happen, he told me he do not know, only knew he died of serious head injuries. :(

sometimes i can't help to think, life can be so vulnerable in a way that you will never know that the next minute may be your last. hence, as a rule of thumb, live life without regrets. you will never know when u will die man. yah, can be funny to you now but it is true.

things back at work, so far so gd, just that i have not closed any sales at the moment. hope things will improve as time goes by. :)


came across a guy that hangs a mini pic of his gf n him on his bag, felt he is kinda sweet. hence ... i took a pic. hehe.

*miss the strawberry yoghurt drink at maxwell market..nice.

woo!!! a night for me to relax!

im on the 'running track' now for my job, currently 'jogging'... need to 'RUN' soon. haha. lots of stuff to catch up on. esp documentation. Public holiday on fri! AT LAST, i am off on a PH!

met up with bel. went all the way to suntec for crystal jade's noodle and walk all the way back for bakerzin's tapas. after that, KTV!! hahaha... BEL can RAP man! hahahahha. at last, i get to sing. haven been singing much. though, its 3 hrs but it seemed not long enough for us! tmr i have training at 9am and i am still wide awake. think it is cos' of the green tea i have drank. gonna ZzzzzzZ during training.. keke.

at last, i have fulfilled one goal in my job expectation. fill up my diary with all the appts, trainings etc. may sound weird but it is one thing to prove ur capability and time management. ;) i think i will love this job, cant say a definite cos' i have not 'store' all my product knowledge in my brain yet. currently, running on pentium II, 266mhz ram. need to upgrade else i won be able to learn fast. haha. gonna close my eyes and hopefully soon i will be able to ZzzzzzZ. :)

what a day..

met a few clients today. i presented pretty alright when my mgr was not around but when she sat in, i was kinda stressed and my mind went blank. urgh..

thanks alvin for teaching me the ropes as well as adrian from mortgage. my seniors though they are busy, they still answer to my 101 qns. haha. encouraging as well. hope everything goes well.

hello!

thanks to everyone who drops by my blog and takes up your precious time to read. for those, who knows me, perhaps this is the place for me to 'complain' or a place who you may see me as a different person. whatever it is, i really have no idea why there are people whom i do not know me in person, read my blog. haha. anyway, nice meeting you guys. pleasure. :)

feel free to drop a msg. take care! live life to the fullest! ;)

nice environment

quarter life crisis?

believe it or not, is it happening to me? i really like my colleagues at my branch. but i just need to brush up on my sales presentation and i feel im really damn lousy man.. i was giving myself so much stress till i head straight to bakerzin after lunch for a slice of strawberry shortcake and 3 tapas. damn. at least 'added' some sweetness into my bitter life now.

i have to work really hard else i can't help them when they are engaged with their clients. :( just hope there is someone's hands for me to hold on and shoulder to lean on along the way. ultimately, humans are still vulnerable. face it. be it men or women. come to think of it, it is coming to 2 years since i was attached. throughout these years, i thank the guys who has created wonderful memories though we arent attached, ermz.. yah, not forgetting friends and training mates who kept cheering for me when things were not that bad as i thought.

alright, left with this hurdle, from then i would be able to move on. at least something to keep me focus. else im gonna be visiting bakerzin often. haha..

inner thoughts

'u promise u will be by my side no matter what happens... it has been years.
what has happened? ur sudden disappearance caused dilemma within myself.
donno? the word again. why am i hearing this word again and again?
where were you when i need your encouragement the most?
do you care how i feel when i met you then. do i mean anything to u all this while?
i thought you are truthful. are you? i do sense your sincerity and care towards me.
seems like i won see you in the near future. at most, you will apologise to me like the others.
are all those care and concern; are they an act or lies or a way to fill up your loneliness or boredom?
there won be answers. only memories that i can recall.
just my sincere wishes to you and may you be in happiness always.
bon voyage...'

finished my last paper at last...

ive finished my uni exam!!! kinda sad. i thought i would be able to write more but my mind seemed blank. this time round, i am really worried about my exam man. else my 'clean' record would be gone. :(

today had quite a lot of fun at work. seen how my seniors work and chat with them for quite long after work. oh my, i can foresee alot of fun i will be having at work in future. haha.first and foremost, i need to be able to sell!!! must overcome my lack of confidence within myself, else i won be able to move a step forward. since i have come so far, i must not give up. anyway, i just treat it like a normal conversation with my friends during sales, should be fine. i am just afraid of those super savvy kind, gonna need to get help man! haha.

i need to reach shenton super early tmr. it is going to be a long day again.. i think im able to slp whole day on sun. hmmm....

time to run for the numbers...!

haha. my dear friends, I have cleared my last paper at last. gonna have my uni exam on thurs... stressed..left only with one day which is tmr for me to read through. wed is my first day for me to get ready to run my numbers. haha. still have a day for me to 'restore' my energy before heading for 'war'.

my friends, hope i will have time for you guys to meet up with u by then. in the meantime, do take care and i will keep you guys updated here. miss ya!

irritating flu bug!!

i have been having flu on and off these days.. and it is irritating. it makes me very drowsy and distracted from my revision. Had a bad dream. it has been sometime since we talked. dreamt he is indeed together with one of my friends whom he was kinda close with when we guys were out together. haha. no idea. have been missing out quite a bit ever since work started. be it catching up with friends, attending my uni coz, singing (though just sang last night, its only 2 songs..?)

my digestive system is not well these days. don even know what is wrong with it and keeps feeling the cramp. went to my poly's design dip show @NLB, the standard is not bad compared to last year. my lecturer, teng hong as usual asked me, still 'there' huh? (he was referring to my ex company) haha. when i told him where im working now, he even asked me 'sure or not' ? thanks leh. i will make sure you will be in for a shock. haha.

got to go back to my bk again.... -_-